The trend of identifying candidates via personality assessments hasn’t yet disappeared from the workplace altogether, and there seems to be a still held pride for some people in mentioning their four-letter association. “I’m an ENTP,” say some, as if that tells us all we need to know about how to communicate and work with them. The truth behind it all is that there is some truth behind it after all, but relying solely on identifying someone as an extrovert or introvert can be damaging to relationships and actually isolate employees even more than simply leaving them alone. However, when it comes down to it, the ones who experience the strongest form of workplace judgment are those who have introverted tendencies. Surely we all know that a test, no matter how complex, cannot tell us all we need to know about our personalities—they are too intricate and unique for a set of questions to identify what makes us tick. That doesn’t mean it’s not good to try to see how we operate in our day-to-day lives and look for ways to improve our inter-office interactions, especially when we are extroverts working side-by-side with introverts.
Being an Introvert
I am most commonly categorized as an INFJ, meaning that I have introverted tendencies, often trust my intuition over observations, follow my feelings more than thinking about logical decisions, and can be somewhat judgmental when analyzing situations as opposed to seeing the prospects of new problems. When it comes down to it, those are often traits of introverts, and working with me means working with someone who must force herself to be social and who needs some time away to think things through, even at work; however, many people that we work with daily do not understand these differences in a way that embraces an introverted personality. Rather, both supervisors and co-workers often feel they need to push or teach an employee to be more social or drag her into situations that will force the employee to become more extroverted.
I worked briefly for a company that had a very social work environment where employees were encouraged to meet regularly throughout the day and build strong relationships. Meetings were laid-back with conversation often moving to personal lives where other employees showed earnest interest and didn’t hesitate to discuss any topic that came up. On some Friday afternoons they even held a small social gathering in the office to simply talk and share champagne and strawberries, and, while deadlines were important, social interaction and the continued connection with one another were at the top of the list. For an extrovert, it was an ideal environment; for an introvert like me, it was a terrifying situation.
A few weeks into my position, my supervisor asked me to start meeting with other employees for 15-30 minutes at a time to learn about their personal and professional lives, to understand what made them tick and how to best communicate with them. There were only six other employees in the office, so the time should have gone quickly and been finished in a matter of a week or two. But the idea of sitting down with a co-worker to ask about their lives and straight-forward questions about their communication style was not an easy task for me to conceive—and it felt just like that, a task rather than the opportunity that my supervisor envisioned it to be. It felt like I was forcing relationships when I knew I would build them naturally as time progressed, and stepping into a social situation of my own creation left me paralyzed. I never did accomplish a one-on-one personal meeting, and my supervisor never understood why I felt so uncomfortable with the request, why pushing me to be extroverted was a problem. Unfortunately, not knowing how to work with introverts can alienate them even further, and, when it comes to working in the office, many introverts want you to work with them, not on them.
Misunderstandings of Introversion
Dr. Marla Gottschalk gives us a list of a few ideas on how not to manage an introvert, which can be key to overcoming common office personality conflicts. As she explains, the primary difference between extroverts and introverts lies in over-stimulation, which introverts tend to experience much sooner than their counterparts. Among her recommendations are being careful not to put them on the spot and understanding that they are often quiet and need someone else to initiate communication. While these are true, a grave misconception is that all introverts need these efforts from others all of the time.
In this vein, earlier this year the Huffington Post gives us five myths about introverts, one of which is introverts never thrive on social interaction in the way extroverts do. An introvert is often thought of as being the worker who never leaves her desk, shies away from conversation at the water cooler, buries her nose in a book during lunch in the break room, and declines the invitation to the after-office dinner to opt for a meal at home alone. In some cases, the whole scenario is true, but in most cases only pieces will be an honest picture of an introvert’s personality. This simple misunderstanding of how introverts operate has effects in their personal relationships and by extension others’ expectations of their success.
Pressure to Be Extroverted
There exists the idea that, because introverts don’t do social scenarios as often or as well as extroverts, they are lacking in certain professional areas, such as networking, building strong relationships, or even characterizing authority. It is the assumption that introversion coincides with an inherent weakness in situations where social confidence would seem a necessity. In some cases, the ability to readily jump into a high-energy, social environment can be a benefit, but that does not negate any other capability, such as developing strong relationships at your own pace or in your own way. The issue actually lies in the fact that many societies, America included, pressure introverts to act like extroverts despite their unique abilities to think outside the box, analyze information well, and see beyond immediate problems. We don’t view introversion as a good thing and therefore interpret it as a problem, a hindrance on success when in fact it is quite the opposite.
Many celebrities in various realms have challenged and even shattered our preconceptions of introversion. A quick look at a list of well-known introverted personalities can surprise you. You might expect that a successful author such as J.K. Rowling, a technology tycoon like Bill Gates, and even a historical scientist such as Albert Einstein are all considered introverts, but I anticipate a raised eyebrow at the mention that entertainer Christina Aguilera, actress Emma Watson, and world-famous activist Mahatma Gandhi are all introverts. Even historical Rosa Parks, who refused to give up her bus seat in defiance of social and racial inequality, was known to be shy, soft-spoken, and exhibit an introverted personality. Despite their personalities, all of them have contributed to their fields in ways that most think of only as the result of extroversion. Perhaps this is a consequence of our misunderstanding of what it means to truly be an introvert.
A Little Time Away
Rather than introversion being a term for one who avoids all social interaction, it is a descriptor of one who has a high sensitivity to stimulation, especially social encounters. While extroverts seek out social situations and thrive on such energy, introverts might experience a similar feeling but will quickly find the event draining and require time alone to re-energize. The point here is that introverts can experience a similar sensation from social interactions; they are not simply loaners who want to be left alone in their corner all the time. They might, however, require a break now and again by themselves, with or without their noses in books. If your office introvert did not accept the invitation to the office potluck, it’s not necessarily for a lack of interest in being social. Maybe she’s had her fill of social interaction for the day—but still wants an invitation to the next one.
Instead of pressuring an office introvert to conform to your methods of management or mimic a successful extroverted personality, try to understand that the world looks very different to both sides of the coin. What is exciting to one is scary to the other, while what is comfortable to one might be boring to the other. Introverts do not avoid be engaged but rather interact with their environments differently and sometimes need to seek alternate paths to achieve results in a comfortable manner. If you find yourself working with a co-worker who characterizes introverted tendencies, embrace her for who she is and try to learn how to communicate and connect with her in a way that lets her be herself but achieve mutual goals at the same time. She might just surprise you and jump right into the party.
This post was originally posted on LinkedIn and can be found here.
Girl Chases Career 